Cease and Desist from Satan
Hell Calls Me
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Cease and Desist from Satan
(Gothic industrial rap-metal — mechanical drums, church bells, distorted bass, sarcastic spoken-word verses with screamed hooks)
[Intro]
Fax machine noises. Thunder. Industrial synth pulse.
“Dear Sir or Madam…”
That’s how the nightmare starts.
[Verse 1]
Black envelope, sulfur on the seal
Stamped “URGENT” in blood-red appeal
Opened it slow with a switchblade grin
Thought it said “welcome” — nah, they barred me again
Clause one: “You are hereby denied”
Clause two: “Please stay fifty feet from the fire inside”
Clause three said my presence “damages morale”
How depraved you gotta be to disturb the damned?
I made demons call HR
Got Lucifer smoking behind the bars
One bad joke at the apocalypse feast
Now hell’s legal team got receipts on me
[Pre-Chorus]
Choirs glitched in minor keys
Static dripping from the speakers
They said:
“Your behavior’s getting difficult to categorize…”
[Chorus]
I GOT A CEASE AND DESIST FROM SATAN
Signed in ash with claws and hatred
No trespassing beyond the flames
Even hell don’t want my name
Blacklisted from the underworld basement
Officially too toxic for damnation
No appeal, no negotiation
I got a cease and desist from Satan
[Verse 2]
I crashed a funeral dressed in white
Started fistfights at candlelight
Taught lost souls how to counterfeit sins
Now the torture staff wants hazard pay again
I made vampires quit nightlife
Made poltergeists afraid at night
Even death said, “bro, tone it down”
Then vanished when I came around
The contract came with a photo attached
Red circles drawn where reality cracked
Every line item detailed my crimes
In twelve-point font and formalized rhymes
[Bridge]
(Heavy synths / whispered vocals)
You are forbidden
From entering the pit
Effective immediately
Due to… “whatever THIS is”
[Breakdown]
(Slow crushing guitars)
Denied!
Rejected!
Return to sender resurrected!
Banished!
Restricted!
Even evil got conflicted!
(Scream)
THE DEVIL SERVED ME PAPERWORK
[Final Chorus]
I GOT A CEASE AND DESIST FROM SATAN
Framed it like a graduation
Now I laugh while the church bells ring
Cause hell made me an enemy king
No salvation
No location
Just eternal litigation
If the damned can’t stand me either
Guess I finally beat the system
[Outro]
Industrial static… distant laughter…
“Failure to comply will result in…”
…what?
Double hell?